The Culture of Care
- Kevin Humphreys
- Oct 14
- 4 min read
Honouring the carers and parents of veterans quietly among us
This week we mark both Veteran Health Week and Carers Week. A time to pause and acknowledge the quiet kind of courage that lives among us every day. The courage of those who carry the unseen loads.
We’re proud to include the intersection of these two selfless groups in our work.
Service doesn’t end when the uniform comes off. And caring doesn’t only happen in hospitals or homes. It happens in kitchens at midnight, in car parks between appointments, in waiting rooms and workplaces. It happens in the moments between holding it together and holding someone else up.
Behind every veteran is a story of service and behind that story, there’s often a family member, partner, or friend who’s been serving in silence all along. The ones scheduling, advocating, waiting, worrying, and somehow still showing up to work with a smile that says, “I’m fine”.
But many of these carers aren’t fine. They’re tired. They’re stretched. They’re quietly holding things together for everyone else, and in the process, they often stop caring for themselves.
There are over 2.6 million unpaid carers across Australia (almost 10% of the population). They’re not a statistic; they’re colleagues, neighbours, parents at the school gate. Many are veterans themselves. Some are walking beside partners living with trauma, chronic illness, or recovery. Others are raising grandchildren, or children with additional needs or supporting parents through ageing and decline.
Their fatigue is cumulative; it doesn’t clock out when they log off from work. It’s emotional, mental, spiritual. And because it’s invisible, it’s often overlooked until it spills into burnout or disconnection.
That’s why last week, in partnership with Wellways, we took a step toward changing that.
Carers and Parents of Defence Members Immersion Program
On 9–10 October, we hosted our first FREE Carers and Parents of Defence Members Immersion Program at the iconic O’Reillys Rainforest Retreat. Two days dedicated to education, communication, laughter and connection.
Our intention was simple, to create a space where these carers could finally feel seen, heard, and valued. A space to breathe. To learn new tools that help them put their own oxygen mask on first, so they can continue to care without losing themselves in the process.
And the result? Transformational.
People shared stories they’d carried quietly for years. Some laughed more than they had in months. Others cried in relief at being understood.
One participant told us, “I’ve never shared this with anyone before—you made it so easy for me to open up.”
Another said, “I’ve done other courses, but nothing like this. This was amazing. Thank you.”
What struck me most was the collective sigh that filled the room by the end of day one, the moment people realised they weren’t alone. When they understood that their exhaustion wasn’t failure, it was evidence of love and loyalty that had gone unacknowledged for so long.
It reminded me why this work matters so deeply. Because when people feel safe, they heal. And when they heal, they reconnect to themselves, to their families, and to what’s possible next.
Compassion fatigue is real. It doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you’ve been strong for a long time without enough support. And that’s something we, as leaders, can do something about.
Leadership, whether in Defence, business, or community, isn’t about fixing people. It’s about creating the conditions where people can be honest about how they’re really going. It’s about seeing the human behind the performance.
A true culture of care is lived, not laminated. It’s found in the questions we ask, the flexibility we offer, and the grace we extend when someone is struggling. It’s in our ability to check in, not check-up.
Because the carers, the veterans, and the families who carry so much of our nation’s unseen weight aren’t ‘out there somewhere’. They’re here. Among us. Sitting in the next meeting. Standing in line for coffee. Doing two jobs at once; one visible, one invisible.
So, as we honour both Veteran Health and Carers Weeks, let’s go beyond acknowledgment. Let’s lead with intent. Let’s recognise that caring for those who care is not an optional extra, it’s an essential part of building healthy workplaces and resilient communities.
If you or someone you know is a carer, mate, parent or partner of a current or ex-serving Defence member, please reach out. This FREE service exists for you. You deserve to be supported, too.
Because when we take care of those who care, we strengthen the entire circle.
Kevin Humphreys
Intentional Leadership | Mental Health Advocate | Veteran | Human First
💬 Interested in Attending or Referring Someone?
If you’d like to learn more about upcoming FREE Carers and Parents of Defence Members Immersion Programs, or refer someone who might benefit, we’d love to hear from you.
📩 Contact us: https://www.kevinhumphreys.com.au/contact
Creating a culture of care starts with one conversation—and this might be the one that changes everything.
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