The Oxygen Mask Season: Leading yourself through the pressure of year end

As we near the end of October, the pressure starts to build. Deadlines, deliverables, school concerts, final reports, holiday rosters, family logistics and gift lists all start converging into one loooong to do list. 

It’s the season of high expectations from both directions. At work, there’s a drive to finish the year strong. Final quarter results, performance reviews, team events and trying to hit goals before the doors close for Christmas. At home, there’s the mental load of family, holidays and everything that comes with December, whether you’re looking forward to it or not.

And for many people, this season brings more than just busyness. It brings stress. Disconnection. Comparison. Loneliness. Questions like: How will I afford this? How do I keep everyone happy? What if I don’t even have anyone to spend it with?

There’s a reason why Harvard Business Review warns that the end of year sprint can create a false urgency that drives burnout. It’s not the work itself. It’s the pace, the pressure and the emotional load that goes unspoken. 

As HBR puts it, “When leaders operate from depletion, their teams inherit the pressure”. And that’s exactly why now is the moment to stop and ask: What version of me is leading right now? 

Lead from full, not from fumes 

Self-leadership doesn’t mean pushing through at all costs. It means noticing when the needle is dropping and choosing to slow down before the system crashes. 

As Brené Brown says, “You can’t give what you don’t have.” 

That applies to empathy, energy, clarity and care.

The temptation this time of year is to ignore your own needs. To keep performing. Keep giving. Keep going. However, if you’re running on empty, you’re not operating at your best. You’re reacting, not responding. Managing, not leading. 

Put your own oxygen mask on. Now, not later.

The best leaders I know are the ones who model what it means to pause. To take five minutes to breathe. To go for a walk. To say no when it matters. To show their team that wellbeing is not an afterthought. That a micro-recharge can help finish the work better and quicker compared to trudging through. It’s part of how they do the work. 

This doesn’t mean disappearing or dropping the ball. It means being intentional. Asking yourself, What really matters right now? What do I need to stay steady through the next few months? And what pressure am I putting on myself that doesn’t align with my values?

Because no one wins when you burn out. 

This season will affect your team. So, show them how to navigate it. 

Some of your people will be carrying hidden stress. Family conflict. Financial pressure.

Loneliness. Not everyone is going home to a warm celebration.

So instead of assuming, ask. Instead of pushing harder, check in. And most importantly, lead by example. 

If you want your team to stay grounded, show them what grounded looks like.

Slow down. Recharge. Get quiet enough to hear your own mind again.

Then lead from there.