The Quiet Strength of Showing up with a Smile: Why Resilience Begins With Self-Leadership

Leadership isn’t always loud. Sometimes, it’s a quiet man in his 90s who still wakes up with purpose in his eyes.

My father-in-law turns 93 this May. A veteran of the New Zealand Air Force, a former rugby player, and a lifelong All Blacks supporter (I’ll let that one slide…), he’s lived through wars, personal losses, and more health battles than anyone should have to, yet, through it all, he still smiles. Still shows up.

Well into his 80s, he was still climbing ladders. Not for show. Just because movement meant independence. And now, at 93, his body has slowed but his mind remains razor sharp. He reads daily across many genres and perspectives. He’s generous in spirit, always willing to listen, always ready with a story or a kind word. His face is lined with the kind of wrinkles that only come from a lifetime of smiling. The kind that says, “I’ve been through it… and I’m still grateful.”

That’s what resilience looks like.

In leadership conversations, we often reduce resilience to a buzzword, a tool you pull out during a crisis. But real resilience, what I call self-leadership in motion is built in the quiet, daily decisions. It’s how you carry yourself in moments of fatigue, frustration, and fear. It’s the discipline of giving it another shot again when no one’s watching.

For those of us who work in high-responsibility roles particularly safety managers and frontline leaders this matters more than ever. Because how we lead ourselves directly affects how others show up under pressure. 

Resilience isn’t about being indestructible. It’s about staying intentional. 

My father-in-law doesn’t talk about mental health strategies or high-performance psychology. He just lives it.

When things get tough, he steadies. He focuses on what he can control. And when you’ve lived through as many storms as he has, you learn not to waste energy on the noise. 

You focus on what matters: your thoughts, your words, your actions, and your attitude. That’s your Circle of Control. That’s your inoculation against burnout and drift. 

We need that mindset in safety leadership. Because the environments we operate in, fast-paced, high-stakes, people-first don’t just need process and compliance. They need calm. They need clarity. They need leaders who model steadiness when things get uncertain. 

So here’s to the ones like him. 

The quiet warriors. The resilient sages. 

The ones who’ve earned their wrinkles with a smile.

Who lead not with titles, but with presence.

That’s the kind of leadership we need in our teams, on our sites, and across our culture.

Not flashy. Not perfect.

Just real.

Resilient.

Self-Leaders in motion.

And still climbing…

Happy 93rd, Ross. You’re still leading by example and we’re all the better for it.